Jon threw his head back and laughed, briefly forgetting about the pain in his leg.
A fire cracker indeed! And not too hard on the eyes. Young, petite, probably about five feet nothing, looks nice and toned even under those shapeless pink scrubs. Nice shiny chestnut waves for hair, and those sparkling green eyes. Yep, definitely not too hard on the eyes!
“Listen sweetheart, lets start over again! Please call me Jon. And those two goofballs over there are Richie and David, but you probably already know that!”
Melody cringed at the ‘sweetheart’ and nodded. “Yes, I know who you are. Please call me Melody or Mel if you want. Just ease off on the ‘sweet’ jokes and references” Seeing their puzzled expressions, she sighed and pointed to her ID tag that had her picture and name on it. All three men squinted at first as they looked and dissolved in quiet laughter as they read “Melody Sweet RNC” printed on her badge.
Shaking her head at their laughter, Mel booted up the wall mounted computer and pulled out the key board.
“OK, lets do this by the book, shall we?” she said and looked at Jon. “Have you ever been here as a patient before?”
“What name did you use? Your stage name or your legal name?”
“My legal name.”
“All right, lets see if I can find you in the computer.” she proceeded to type and navigate through a couple of screens. “Aha! Here you are! John F. Bongiovi Jr. Date of birth is March 2nd, 1962. Is that correct?”
“And your address is 158 Mercer Street, New York, New York, 10012-3212. Is that still correct?”
“Hey, Mel! Is his pants size in there too?” came the question from David’s side of the stretcher.
“Sure it is! Its 30 waist, 30 length, isn’t it?” She turned and grinned at the three stunned men and pointed to the label of the pants peaking out of the patient belongings bag under Jon’s stretcher, green sparks of laughter dancing in her eyes. Turning back to the screen she went on with her questions.
“Are you allergic to any medications, food, dyes, or latex?”
“He’s really allergic to latex!” came a reply from Richie’s side this time. “What?” he said in reply to Jon’s stare, “You got four kids! You must be allergic to latex!”
“Asshole” mumbled Jon in his direction “Please excuse my soon to be former friend here! The old age must be affecting his brain! Either that or the heat!” he smiled at Mel. “The only allergies I have are seasonal and environmental.”
Mel nodded and grinned and continued with her intake.
“Do you have any medical problems that I need to be aware of in order to take care of you safely?”
“OK, so, once again what happened?”
“Well, I was wrapping up the show and all of a sudden it felt like I was shot in the back of my leg!” He said pointing to his left calf.
Mel nodded and approached the stretcher “I’m going to touch you and gently palpate the injury. Is that OK?” she asked Jon. Seeing his nod she put her hands on both of his legs to assess the temperature of both extremities. Then as gently as she could she palpated the bulge bellow the rear of his left knee. Hearing the hissing of a sharp air intake and noting his involuntary jump, she quickly moved her hands away.
“Sorry about that!” she said turning to Fred.
“Can you get me an ice pack please?”
Grabbing the offered plastic pouch, she put it on the counter and hit it with her fist to activate the chemicals inside. Shaking it she handed the pack to Jon.
“Put it behind your calf, right where it hurts the most!”
He took the ice pack and did as he was told. Closing his eyes and wincing at the initial shock of the cold. As the coolness started to bring on the numbness, he sighed at the welcomed relief.
“You’re welcome” she said as she hit the print button. Reaching over to the small printer on the counter, Mel took the two printed pages and placing them on a wooden clip board offered them to Jon with a pen.
“I need your signature in two places please.”
“What? One autograph is not enough?”
“If I wanted an autograph, I would’ve given you a picture or a CD to sign! And for the record, I already have your autographs! I won them in the fundraising raffle last year! What I need is for you to sign these two consents, so we could treat you!”
“Sorry” he mumbled and reached for the clip board and pen. Squinting, he tried to read the paper, then gave up and just smiled at Melody “What am I signing away here? My house? My hot rod? Or my first born?”
“The first one is the HIPPAA notice. Basically it states that if you need us to release any information about this visit, either to your insurance or to your doctor, we will need your written permission. The second one is a blanket consent for medical treatment. It covers anything and everything we need to do to take care of you, basically all medical and nursing care, any diagnostic tests and treatments that you may require during your hospital visit.”
Jon nodded and signed in the indicated spots, then handed the clipboard and pen back to Mel.
“Can I Have Something For The Pain now?” he smirked.
“Aha, Something For the Blues” came from David’s side.
“Yeah, Bad Medicine Is What He Needs” mumbled Richie.
Shaking her head and laughing softly to herself, Melody headed for the door.
“I’m going to get Dr. Arroyo in here. He is our Emergency Medicine Doctor on call. I’ll be back in a few! Behave yourselves if you can please!”
As soon as she left the room, Jon turned to his two friends “What are you doing assholes?” he barked at his friends.
“Nothing.” mumbled David.
“Just having some fun, Bro!” laughed Richie.
“Well, would you PLEASE STOP flirting with MY nurse!!!” came the response and a finger salute.